The Execution of the Innocent

The abortion issue has been something that has taken high priority in my life. Most of the time I am in disbelief at the ignorance of the pro-abortion side, they just don’t seem to “get it”. Above all I find myself to be angry, angry at the fact that the ignorance is so wide spread and millions of babies are being brutally murdered every single day.  I have seen many advancements within the Pro-Life movement, but on the other hand the hate taught by the likes of “Planned Parenthood” is also growing. The mask of “women’s rights” is clouding the vision of many women and men and because of this I believe that we need a new approach. For myself, I know that I need to change my approach to those who favor the slaughter of the unborn by not lashing out in anger but teaching them all that I have learned. I just don’t know exactly how to do this. How can one know the facts of abortion and not feel the twinge of anger? I know that my mission will not work if I meet those ignorant to the atrocities of abortion with judgment and anger.
    Over the last few years, Facebook has become my window into the Pro-Life world. If anything good has come from social media it is that. I have been able to connect with great people who share my views and the desperate need to give a voice to the voiceless. Of course social media also has opened the flood gates to arguments between those in favor of abortion and those who stand for life. As an advocate for the unborn, I have found myself in many online “discussions” that turned into nasty fights. I must say that the abortionists sound very repetitive after awhile, as their stances on infanticide are all based on the same lies. They seem to be convinced that abortions are there because women are being raped by either strangers or their own fathers and that the women of the 21st century are dying during child birth… seriously? If they knew any of the facts (which they don’t) they would see that if we have to look at the percentages it would tell them that abortions are not the results of rape of near death but rather the rash decisions of irresponsible, morally void women who simply think it is “getting rid of the problem”. This of course has been the argument when it comes to placing ultrasounds in clinics that perform abortions to show the woman exactly what it is that she is killing. It’s been proven that the majority of women who are able to “see” their unborn child have a change of heart and decide not to abort, I have no words for those who continue on with the butchering.
Recently there has been an unraveling of sorts concerning the abortion giant “Planned Parenthood”, causing many to readjust their opinion of the so called “women’s centers”. Hidden cameras and massive phone calls have proven that not only does PP lie about the services they provide (mammograms especially) but they have also lied about the percentage of abortions they actually provide. Not to mention the countless incidences where under age girls were given abortions without parental consent. So why are there so many caught up in the web of lies that PP spins? I think it has something to do with them being a sort of “brand name”. Too many Pro-Life centers don’t spend enough time promoting themselves, at least that is what I have experienced in my local area. So what can we do as Pro-Life people? Educate, educate, educate. Although at times I find that some people tend to want to remain oblivious to the real things happening around them, or are just happy remaining ignorant. I will continue to examine and document my findings on the Pro-Life movement, and use my gift of writing to hopefully open the eyes of those set on executing the innocent.

Glimpse Into My Family

Family: A word that to some, holds great meaning- to others,great pain. I grew up in a broken home, my mother always trying to keep me in a fantasy world perhaps to protect me. My father had come from a rather large family, my mother having just two sisters. My parents were total opposites, completely different childhoods which lead them to be polar opposites when it came to raising me. My father, always a distant, quiet man never felt obligated in any way to his wife or daughter- rather he took to reading a paper or taking off in the car to unknown locations rather then spending any time with us. At a young age, I discovered the real feelings of neglect and disappointment from a man I desperately wanted attention and approval from. On the other side of the spectrum was my mother, caring and compassionate she couldn't spend enough time with me. Unfortunately, my mother's health had been poor from my birth on- many days were spent beside her in bed listening to music and playing games we would make up. One of her health issues required a darkened room where my mother was unable to even open her eyes making it extremely difficult for a young child to understand. My father was always a book smart man, lacking common sense but always the critical mind that excelled him and landed him his Masters. As his employment ventures opened up and his money began to grow, my mother and I were left deeper and deeper into poverty. Living in what I can only explain as unlivable conditions, we struggled to survive while my father basically sat on his money. When I reached the age of eleven, my mother threw my father out after years of infidelity, neglect and mental abuse. He took the car and left us with nothing but tears. I've spent many years trying to piece together my childhood, I came to the conclusion that for my own personal benefit my mind had blocked much of what I experienced- defense mechanism I suppose. What I do recall is the freezing cold nights when the kerosene had run out, and the days without electricity. At the time we lived in the country, away from anything that was remotely close to providing food or shelter. My mother, having the poor health and eyesight was unable to drive thus making us rely heavily on others.
I didn't hate my father, I just didn't understand why he didn't love me. The thing is, when you love someone even after they've disappointed you over and over you keep believing they'll change and everything will be okay. That doesn't always happen. For years, my father would make plans to come pick me up, take me out for dinner or what not. I would wait at the door, thinking any car that was coming was him, only to watch the car pass and my heart sink. I did this for years, always thinking there was that glimmer of hope. Meanwhile, my mother had her own outlets for the pain- many different boyfriends and feeding an addiction of men that to this day she denies. During this period of time I remember bits and pieces, more blocking on my part. It seemed like it happened so fast, she had met a roofer while going out to a club with a friend. All of a sudden she was traveling all over the states with a man she barely knew. At one point I had to be with them, staying in a hotel because life with my father and his girlfriend proved to be unhealthy. Fast forward a few months and news of my mother being pregnant surfaced- the roofer left just 2 months into her pregnancy. We were instantly shunned from my mother's family- although they were not religious people they felt compelled to cast stones because she was not wed. However, the true reason surfaced as well and it was because this child would be half Mexican and to them that was a disgrace. I don't really remember my mother's pregnancy very well, I'm not sure if I was excited or what. I'm guessing I was since being an only child for thirteen years makes one long for a sibling. Then the day arrived. I remember June 24, 2007 like it was yesterday. It was the last day of school, I'd just gotten home my mother was not there but I knew she had gone for a stress test that day so it was no alarm. Being a teenager, the first thing I did was lay down to sleep for awhile, thinking nothing of it. Apparently I had been in a dead sleep as my mother's friend had been pounding at the door to come pick me up to see my new brother. I slept through the whole thing, I only awakened to the phone ringing to tell me the wonderful news. I had a brother. I couldn't believe it! He was 11.2 pounds with a full head of dark hair. A new chapter of our lives started that day, and we had no idea what a journey it would be.
My brother grew up with just my mother and I, basically I was the other parent and so I had some growing up to do. My mother often worked long hours and many jobs to support us, being the built-in babysitter I was required to make sure he had all the basic necessities. This meant a lot of time was not spent with friends, doing normal teenage things but rather feeding, changing and taking care of my little brother. When Homecoming came, I showed up to the football game with stroller and baby in tow. There would be no dance for me, but that was what my life was. At some point, and I'm not sure when- my mother's family came around. I can't imagine what the first conversation was, but I think perhaps they came to the conclusion that this was their grandson no matter what. The years went on and out of all the pain grew a wonderful child who I am so proud of. I've never regretted having to spend my teenage years taking care of him, after all it kept me out of trouble and made us have a close relationship. I also think that having a family like I do helped me to be the person I am today, taking from them the bad points and making them good by learning from them. I sometimes think you can live without family or create one elsewhere which you could do, but at the end of the day you have to push past the imperfections and embrace the people with whom you share blood. Difficulty is bound to happen in all families but it's what we make from those difficulties that makes the struggles worth the pain. I could go on and on but I'm sure I have rambled, perhaps a part 2 will be in the works someday.    

Father Figure

The role of a father is one that is certainly underrated. It's become a sort of farce, not taken as seriously as it once was. I myself have always had the mentality that one is better off without a bad father or inconsistent one. But now I'm not so sure. For me, it's been a very rocky relationship with the man I call dad. I often think that he never really had the desire to be a father, thus putting in effort was not his priority. I spent my childhood standing at the front door after my parents separated, waiting for him to fulfill a promise I knew deep inside he never would. That didn't stop me from believing the lies every time though. Perhaps I thought he would see what it was doing to his little girl and have a sort of epiphany- magically changing all his neglectful ways. I struggled with this for years and years and although I don't remember the exact instance- I finally just stopped believing. I wasted a lot of time searching for the approval of a man who knew nothing about me. I ended up putting the bad memories of my childhood so deep in my subconscious that to this day it all seems a blur- a defense mechanism I suppose. They say that the relationship you have with your father determines the relationships you have with men. That, I'm not so sure of. It seems a good excuse to mess up with different people but at the end of the day I don't think it influences as much as we'd like to think. If there's any advice I could give to those who had a distant father I would say, live your life to please you and understand that if they don't want to change, they won't. Don't waste hours standing at a door that will not open, unless it's you doing the opening. For those who have had the joy of a good father- you are beyond blessed. I think because the man does not have that initial connection to the baby that the mother has, it takes so much more work to secure that relationship. One way I think to make better fathers is to make better boys. From an early age, I believe males should be taught the importance of being dependable, responsible and emotionally available. Not only would this prove to be a way to teach them to be good fathers some day, but also good husbands. If any fathers are reading this, my hope is for you to look at that little girl or little boy and realize they are your legacy- the way you treat them will have a lasting impression on them beyond childhood. Just as the mother is an important asset to a child, you are equally important. Don't look away when they look at you with longing in their eyes to be close to you- embrace them, show them they are worth something in this world.

The Art Of Appreciation

Appreciation.

A simple word but a very hard concept to fully understand. Now it can go for worldly possessions or most importantly, the people in our lives. Why is it so hard for us to completely appreciate the people and/or things we have? We're always told that we don't know what we have 'til it's gone- but why is that? Why is it that we have these wonderful things that add contentment and joy to our lives and we just take it all with a grain of salt? Is it just "human nature"? Or is that just an excuse we've told ourselves to make it seem alright? Many times I have felt what I can only explain as absolute appreciation for some opportunities I've been given or everyday things like my health or the fact that I have a roof over my head. However I feel like it's not enough, I feel like I'm missing it. I see myself taking those I love completely for granted and even though it's not hidden I feel like I can't change it. Why can we appreciate a painting but take for granted our families? Maybe it's just easier to admire and appreciate an inanimate object?  Like I said, I appreciate the things in life so why is it such a demand to appreciate the people who love me? Doesn't appreciation and love go hand in hand? I think that maybe we assume appreciation just exudes from our bodies, so naturally we think we don't have to actually work at it. It's just not that simple. Nothing in life is. For myself, I tend to remain oblivious to those around me yearning for appreciation and even though I'm not proud of that fact it's what I do. So, I suppose what I want is to get a better understanding of how I convey my actions to others. We have to reach out from the "all about me" stance on life and start taking a deeper look at what we have and an even closer look at the things that we (if we were not blessed) wouldn't have. I think a good way to do this is to volunteer, help those who are less fortunate then you are. However, don't look at it from a self-loving view, look at it from a humble view. Take it all in, realize that you could be far worse off then you really are.

Jaded By Television?

It's funny the thoughts that go through ones head after watching crime shows frequently. It's gotten to the point where taking a walk near a wooded area has caused me to wonder if I may happen upon a crime scene. It's a little paranoid, I know-but is it so far-fetched? We live in a time where you can't watch television without witnessing some sort of crime happening, whether real or fictional. It makes me wonder what it's doing to our subconscious, perhaps it triggers the aggression found in everyday life from road rage to school issues. So why do we continue to crank out depressing, gore filled media? I just feel that it bogs us all down and is stealing joy out of life. Does that sound too dramatic to be true? I don't think it is. I think what we're doing with television and movies is slowly but surely destroying our society. If you go back just ten years ago you'd see a huge difference in what was actually aired on television. Next time you are watching let's say, a crime show- monitor your mindset before and after the show and you will see a difference. For myself personally, I struggle with anxiety and have noticed how media affects it. It could be that I'm prone to being influenced by such things, but I think as a whole we all get negative vibes from the things we watch on a daily basis. Perhaps this too has an influence on our relationships as well? I'm not placing blame on these things as the only cause to why someone may act a certain way, but I do think it plays a part. So what can we do? For one, we can turn off the television and open a book. Maybe if the ratings to these violent shows start decreasing we can turn media into a positive outlet. It's easy to say don't let these things "get to you", but like I said earlier- I think all these shows pile up on our subconscious. If we can target these issues we may be able to save future generations from the tragedy of bad media.

Human Etiquette

I don't know about you, but I was raised to be polite. Being courteous was just second nature to me, not something I had to work at. Along with acting on that I also expected it from others-just common courtesy I suppose. So is it unusual that I am taken aback when dealing with the people of today who not only are rude but also look at you like you have three heads when you are respectful and/or nice to them? I find that anytime I'm out, people who are not "conscious" of their poor behavior overwhelm me with their absolute callousness in response to my politeness. Yes, I did just hold that door open for you- you are welcome. I'm sorry but yes I did just smile,nod and say hello to you. Even more then that though is the complaining I hear from the above mentioned people saying others are not kind to them. If you are to shoot down any of my genuinely nice actions toward you, then why are you complaining? I know that if we were to step into a time machine we would learn so much from our ancestors in the lessons of proper etiquette of human relations. What do we gain if we allow all strangers to remain so? If we could start connecting with those we are not in close relationship to I feel that this world would be much more peaceful.
When meeting a new person do we always have to jump to conclusions that they're going to mislead us in some way? I think that it's our attitudes that cause people to mislead us in the end. I believe if you expect those types of things to happen to you, you have basically "willed" it to happen. How then can we complain? "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" speaks volumes. It's so simple. So true. Yet, it is no longer taken seriously and we have become so lazy with our relationships that they are passing before our eyes and we don't even realize it. If we could put the energy that we pour into doubting each other into accepting and loving one another-how wonderful would this life be?! As I write this I am learning, I am taking in these words and finding that they apply to me as much as to those I hope to touch. We constantly are trying to find the differences in us and our peers when we should be bonding over our likenesses. Again, with this I find the word "lazy" to describe what we as humans have become. It's just too much effort to care anymore. I feel that the effort used to piece back together the relationships we ruined with our neglect in the first place is far more exerted then if we just had cared in the first place. Does that make any sense?