The Art Of Appreciation

Appreciation.

A simple word but a very hard concept to fully understand. Now it can go for worldly possessions or most importantly, the people in our lives. Why is it so hard for us to completely appreciate the people and/or things we have? We're always told that we don't know what we have 'til it's gone- but why is that? Why is it that we have these wonderful things that add contentment and joy to our lives and we just take it all with a grain of salt? Is it just "human nature"? Or is that just an excuse we've told ourselves to make it seem alright? Many times I have felt what I can only explain as absolute appreciation for some opportunities I've been given or everyday things like my health or the fact that I have a roof over my head. However I feel like it's not enough, I feel like I'm missing it. I see myself taking those I love completely for granted and even though it's not hidden I feel like I can't change it. Why can we appreciate a painting but take for granted our families? Maybe it's just easier to admire and appreciate an inanimate object?  Like I said, I appreciate the things in life so why is it such a demand to appreciate the people who love me? Doesn't appreciation and love go hand in hand? I think that maybe we assume appreciation just exudes from our bodies, so naturally we think we don't have to actually work at it. It's just not that simple. Nothing in life is. For myself, I tend to remain oblivious to those around me yearning for appreciation and even though I'm not proud of that fact it's what I do. So, I suppose what I want is to get a better understanding of how I convey my actions to others. We have to reach out from the "all about me" stance on life and start taking a deeper look at what we have and an even closer look at the things that we (if we were not blessed) wouldn't have. I think a good way to do this is to volunteer, help those who are less fortunate then you are. However, don't look at it from a self-loving view, look at it from a humble view. Take it all in, realize that you could be far worse off then you really are.

Jaded By Television?

It's funny the thoughts that go through ones head after watching crime shows frequently. It's gotten to the point where taking a walk near a wooded area has caused me to wonder if I may happen upon a crime scene. It's a little paranoid, I know-but is it so far-fetched? We live in a time where you can't watch television without witnessing some sort of crime happening, whether real or fictional. It makes me wonder what it's doing to our subconscious, perhaps it triggers the aggression found in everyday life from road rage to school issues. So why do we continue to crank out depressing, gore filled media? I just feel that it bogs us all down and is stealing joy out of life. Does that sound too dramatic to be true? I don't think it is. I think what we're doing with television and movies is slowly but surely destroying our society. If you go back just ten years ago you'd see a huge difference in what was actually aired on television. Next time you are watching let's say, a crime show- monitor your mindset before and after the show and you will see a difference. For myself personally, I struggle with anxiety and have noticed how media affects it. It could be that I'm prone to being influenced by such things, but I think as a whole we all get negative vibes from the things we watch on a daily basis. Perhaps this too has an influence on our relationships as well? I'm not placing blame on these things as the only cause to why someone may act a certain way, but I do think it plays a part. So what can we do? For one, we can turn off the television and open a book. Maybe if the ratings to these violent shows start decreasing we can turn media into a positive outlet. It's easy to say don't let these things "get to you", but like I said earlier- I think all these shows pile up on our subconscious. If we can target these issues we may be able to save future generations from the tragedy of bad media.

Human Etiquette

I don't know about you, but I was raised to be polite. Being courteous was just second nature to me, not something I had to work at. Along with acting on that I also expected it from others-just common courtesy I suppose. So is it unusual that I am taken aback when dealing with the people of today who not only are rude but also look at you like you have three heads when you are respectful and/or nice to them? I find that anytime I'm out, people who are not "conscious" of their poor behavior overwhelm me with their absolute callousness in response to my politeness. Yes, I did just hold that door open for you- you are welcome. I'm sorry but yes I did just smile,nod and say hello to you. Even more then that though is the complaining I hear from the above mentioned people saying others are not kind to them. If you are to shoot down any of my genuinely nice actions toward you, then why are you complaining? I know that if we were to step into a time machine we would learn so much from our ancestors in the lessons of proper etiquette of human relations. What do we gain if we allow all strangers to remain so? If we could start connecting with those we are not in close relationship to I feel that this world would be much more peaceful.
When meeting a new person do we always have to jump to conclusions that they're going to mislead us in some way? I think that it's our attitudes that cause people to mislead us in the end. I believe if you expect those types of things to happen to you, you have basically "willed" it to happen. How then can we complain? "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" speaks volumes. It's so simple. So true. Yet, it is no longer taken seriously and we have become so lazy with our relationships that they are passing before our eyes and we don't even realize it. If we could put the energy that we pour into doubting each other into accepting and loving one another-how wonderful would this life be?! As I write this I am learning, I am taking in these words and finding that they apply to me as much as to those I hope to touch. We constantly are trying to find the differences in us and our peers when we should be bonding over our likenesses. Again, with this I find the word "lazy" to describe what we as humans have become. It's just too much effort to care anymore. I feel that the effort used to piece back together the relationships we ruined with our neglect in the first place is far more exerted then if we just had cared in the first place. Does that make any sense?

Where Have All The Friends Gone?

In this ever changing world that we live in, are we finding that the friendships we once held so dear no longer hold as much importance? As young children, we were taught that making friends was a key implement to being successful in life. Sharing was caring and everyone was invited to the birthday parties. When did we start separating ourselves from those who we'd give our last cookie to? Is it safe to say that as our personalities developed and changed our grasp of relationships changed along with it?
Jump ahead to adulthood, friendships have all but disappeared. With the heavy burdens of careers, children and just the excuse of "life" happening-our human relationships have dissolved. How did we go from treasuring the moments spent with our buddies to barely recognizing them in passing? It seems we've only time for acquaintances, perhaps we're just lazy. If we could simply take the time to reinstate our old friendships I believe we would live much happier lives.
Being a woman in her late 20's and without children I've experienced the sudden "drop" of friendly interactions time and time again. I long for the closeness that is shared purely with friendships, it's left quite a void. I don't have a problem with people having kids, why do they have a problem that I don't? What couldn't I understand? Should I just accept these excuses as a sign of the times, or convince others I'm worth the time? Is there a way to have social interactions where a bar or club is not involved? What message do you think we are sending to the future generations?

Life's Checkpoints

If you're anything like me, deadlines can give you headaches. Although I do work well under pressure, there's one "race to the finish" that I just can't get past. I'm referring to the constant demand to be at a certain "check point" if you will, in our own lives. How many times is it put into our heads that by the time we reach a particular age we should have this done, that done, etc?  During school years it is the "norm" to follow up high school with college, after those four years go on to either a job or more schooling. All this before the ripe old age of thirty. It's not just career wise but I also find that in my personal life I'm supposed to be in a totally different scenario then I want for myself. This goes from my marital status, to my"lack of children". Please don't misunderstand me, being a parent is something I without a doubt want to be- but on my terms at the time I want. Marriage, I absolutely believe in it- right now I am engaged to be married, but not by a certain age. According to the "life plans" given out, I should be finished with college and in a career, married with children. However, you simply cannot plan out life, it just happens. Setting goals is a great thing, but when society starts making life goals for you that is where I draw the line. Career wise I haven't been able to achieve what I want YET, but I have a lifetime to try. We need to stop assuming that we won't be anywhere if we do not immediately do A, B, and C. I'm apt to think of Grandma Moses, here's a woman who started her claim to fame at the ripe old age of 70! This clearly is a good example that one is never too old to learn. On top of these expectations being completely ridiculous I find that they are detrimental to our well being. We, as a nation are always on the go- must be faster, better, etc. What many don't understand is they are inevitably going to be unsatisfied for there's always another checkpoint they should be at.
I didn't always think this way though. I too fell into the mindset of being disappointed in myself for not "being there". As I've grown older (and hopefully wiser), I've discovered that my path is just that-MINE. I need not please others with my rush to the finish line, but rather take things one step at a time and enjoy the journey. I know what I want out of life, and more then anything I've discovered that life is not a competition contrary to popular belief. My best advice is to not yearn for the life of another, but embrace the fact that this is your story and the ending lies within your hands. If you really think about that it gives you a feeling of empowerment and eases the stresses society has put on us. I hope that you are able to say no to the burden of success determined for you and be determined to make your own path and success.